Characteristics and Behavioral Indicators of Adults Who Molest Children

When most people imagine a child molester, they picture some ugly, old man in a trench coat coaxing children to come to him in exchange for some candy. They don't picture Uncle Joe or Aunt Lorraine, the neighbor next door, the friendly parishioner, another family member, or trusted co-worker. They don't think of mom or dad, or in the case of single parents their significant other. This misconception has been effectively dispelled through information obtained in thousands of child sexual abuse investigations over the years. Child molesters come from all walks of life and from all socioeconomic groups. They can be male or female, rich or poor, employed or unemployed, religious or non-religious or from any race. Children can be molested by persons they don't know, relatives, friends, or caregivers.

Both men and women molest children, although the majority of those identified, and prosecuted for a sex offense, are men. Adults who molest children can generally be divided into two groups, according to their behaviors. A small percentage may suffer from a lifelong exclusive attraction to children and have little or no emotional interest in adult partners. The majority are not exclusively attracted to children, have adult emotional relationships, and have not molested multiple child victims. The widespread misconception that child molestation consists solely of children being seized from the street and forcibly molested couldn't be further from the truth. Although these incidents do occur, the vast majority of child molesters are adults who seduce children through subtle intimidation and persuasion and are known to the child.

The child molester who is not known by the victim may use a variety of methods to gain access or to gain the confidence of the victim. He may use force, fear, bribery, or tricks. He may pretend or appear to be friendly and trustworthy. Often he gains access to children in public places, such as playgrounds, parks or shopping malls. Through the experience of law enforcement investigators, treatment providers, and research, some common behavioral indicators have been identified and are described below.

Persons who molest children:

1. Are aware, in many cases, of their preference for children before they reach age 18. Most offenders are adult males, but some women also molest children.
2. Are usually married. A small number never marry and maintain a lifelong sexual and emotional interest in children.
3. May relate better to children than adults and may feel more comfortable with children and their interests.
4. May have few close adult friends.
5. Usually prefer children in a specific age group.
6. Usually prefer one gender over the other, however, some are bisexual in their preference.
7. May seek employment or volunteer opportunities with programs involving children in the preferred victim age group for this type of offender.
8. Pursue children for sexual purposes and may feel emotionally attached to the extent that emotional needs are met by engaging in relationships with children. Example: An adult man spends time with neighbor children or relatives and talks at length about his feelings for them or his own feelings of loneliness or loss in order to get the child's sympathy.
9. Often photographs or collects photographs of their victims, dressed, nude, or involved in sexual acts.
10. May collect child erotica and child-adult pornography which may be used in the following ways:
    a. To lower the inhibitions the victims.
    b. To fantasize when no potential victim is available.
    c. To relive past sexual activities.
    d. To justify their inappropriate sexual activities.
    e. To blackmail victims to keep them from telling.
11. May possess alcohol or narcotics and furnish them to their victims to lower inhibitions or gain fear.
12. Talk with children in ways that equalize their relationship.
13. May talk about children in the same manner as one would talk about an adult lover or partner.
14. May seek out organizations and publications that support his sexual beliefs and practices.
15. May offer to baby-sit or take children on trips in order to manipulate situations to sleep with or near children or bathe or dress them.
16. May be seen at parks, playgrounds or places frequented by children or teenager.

See also:

• Behavioral Indicators of Men or Women Who Have Molested Children
• Interfamilial Child Abuse
• Talking to Your Children
• Child Safety Page